The craziest celebrity quotes from the past week.
“His frame is so small, if you took off mine and put it on his body, pound for pound, it might be bigger.”
Seth Rogen gets competitive with Justin Bieber on the subject of biggest penis.
Those two? That would be a tough call.
1. “Now, we’ll occasionally argue with each other and say horrible things, but definitely not on the level that it used to be, lol. We’ve always remained close, but over the years the two of us have just matured. We’ve really kind of found our own identities, which I think was important to us both. For years we were really stuck as a duo and now we’ve truly become our own people.”
Kendall Jenner, who recently called her sister Kylie “the biggest f—–g bitch,” and “a c—-” on reality TV in a tiff over borrowing a dress, explains how sibling rivalry has matured into friendship.
2. “And yes, I had a lot of conversations with God. And I came to the conclusion that you know what, maybe this is why God put me on this earth. To tell my story. To be authentic to myself about who I am and in doing that, maybe you can make a difference in the world. What a great opportunity in life to have. So few of us ever get that opportunity.”
Caitlyn Jenner joins the list of delusional public figures who seem to believe God gives a rat’s ass about their deep, spiritual path of blatant self-aggrandizement.
3. “I believe God is doing this for my higher good. To me it’s a test, of faith… I’m not done yet, I need to learn another lesson. All this stuff happens to make me a better person. That’s how I look at it.”
Hulk Hogan: see above.
4. “[The narcissist] believes his life is of such momentous importance that it is micromanaged by God … narcissism and religion go well together, because religion allows the narcissist to feel unique and to exert moral and institutional authority over others.”
So grateful God texted us personally to reveal the work of Dr. Sam Vaknin, author of Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited, among many other works.
5. “I guess, supposedly, she asked for a picture with her sister or something, and I guess I said no? But I don’t remember this happening so, Ronda, I’m sorry. Don’t kick my ass!”
Justin Bieber says he didn’t mean to snub the little sister of MMA fighter Ronda Rousey … but honestly? None of this is his fault.
1. “What have I said no to? Everything you can imagine. Literally every-f—ing-thing. Books, clothes, food ranges, drink ranges, fitness ranges… That’s probably the funniest. They wanted me to be the face of a car. Toys. Apps. Candles. It’s, like, ‘I don’t want to endorse a line of nail varnishes, but thanks for asking. A million pounds to sing at your birthday party? I’d rather do it for free if I’m doing it, cheers…'”
Adele explains how the word ‘no’ makes it entirely possible to avoid the head-turning malarkey that comes with fame.
2. “I think a lot of people, especially when you’re a woman, you have kids, and work on movies, it’s hard because you’re away from them. There’s nothing lazy about it. You go to work, get on the first plane home even if it’s for eight hours, go back to work. I don’t want to be away from my family, I love it so much. I just enjoy being on movie sets.”
Kate Hudson says she’s so overworked she can no longer put a sentence together. Pity.
3. “It’s nice to get acquainted with myself alone. You know, the goal when you get into a relationship is not to be out of the relationship. It’s to try to stay in the relationship. But if it doesn’t work, you can’t force things.”
Kate Hudson: how can one woman be so riveting so often?
4. “There was never any room for me to experiment creatively in the band. If I would sing a hook or a verse slightly R&B, or slightly myself, it would always be recorded 50 times until there was a straight version that was pop, generic as f—-, so they could use that version… There was just a general conception that the management already had of what they want for the band, and I just wasn’t convinced with what we were selling.”
Zayn Malik goes way out on a limb to suggest that the music of One Direction was just prefab teenybopper pap engineered with the sole purpose of making money. The very idea!
5. “One day I’d love to get married and have kids. I see how happy Nicky is. That’s the true meaning of life, to find the love of your life and start a family.”
Paris Hilton explains why marriage enjoys a 50% failure rate in America.