The NBA is becoming a mental WWE. Players throughout the league are vying to see who can say the most weird stuff to elicit reactions. It started with Kyrie Irving’s flat Earth theory, but Michael Beasley may have just taken the crown for the most bizarre player in the league. Now with the New York Knicks, Beasley just gave the strangest interview on SNY’s “Timeout with Taylor Rooks,” although that’s become par for the course among NBA stars.
First of all, Beasley was wearing three watches, which is fine. Maybe he wants to keep up with Eastern, Central and Pacific time zones and doesn’t want to add and subtract hours. The question is which time zone was so unimportant to him that he relegated that watch to his ankle.
And yet, a watch that you can only read when you cross your legs was one of the least bizarre moments of Beasley’s interview. Like Irving, Beasley has a lot of questions about science — questions that someone would only ask if they watched “Limitless” the night before.
I would love to parse through and take out the most pertinent quotes, but this conversation really needs to be taken in context to see what we’re dealing with.
Beasley: You can research the human brain, right? And it says that we are only capable of using 10 percent of our brain. Right? You believe that?
Rooks: Yeah. That’s …
Beasley: You were about to say that was true.
Rooks: I’m saying that’s what people say. That’s the consensus scientifically.
Beasley: It’s the consensus scientifically. So who was the guy that used 11 that made it OK to say everybody’s just using 10?
Rooks: That isn’t the right logic. It’s the same person that uses 10 percent of your brain is the one that said 10 percent.
Beasley: No, because if you only use 10 percent of your brain, you don’t even know you’re using 10 percent of your brain.
Rooks: He knew it was 10 percent of your brain based on your brain. You don’t have to be using 11 percent to know someone else is 10 percent. … That is not mathematically correct.
Beasley: Who is he? Who is he? That is mathematically correct. Someone had to …
Rooks: You have to be using more than 10 percent of your brain to know that everyone else uses 10.
Beasley: Yes, because if you’re only using 10 percent of something, you don’t know the rest of the 90.
Rooks: Yeah, you’re right.
Beasley: I’m right! Perfect.
Rooks: No, you’re right about the 90 and the 10.
Beasley: OK, so, if I’m only using 10. I’m the first person in the world. Say I’m Adam, and I wrote we can only use 10 percent of our brains, that would mean I would have to surpass the number 10.
Rooks: No, OK let me break this down for you. If I’m a doctor and I’m looking at your brain …
Beasley: I get what you’re saying but a doctor has to learn something and everything a doctor learns is man written. And everything a doctor learn is man written. So you can sit there and tell me you learned it and I agree with you one hundred percent, but it was a word someone else concocted.
If you told Beasley that the absence of evidence wasn’t evidence, then his brain might literally explode. One has to wonder why the 10 percent of your brain hill is the one he chose to die on, but thank goodness he did. Watching Rooks try to figure out where in the world the conversation was going was truly a trip, and Beasley’s reaction to being told he was right for presumably the first time in years made the trip worth it.
Now that he’s playing in New York, we can expect to see a lot more of Beasley. The Battle of Wokeness between the Knicks and Celtics promises to be one for the ages, as Beasley tries to prove that he’s using 100 percent of his basketball skills while Irving says the ball is flat before loudly declaring he’s just joking.