From the beginning, pretty much everyone has hated Instagram’s algorithm. Once upon a time, you could just scroll and scroll, and things would just magically appear in the order in which they were posted. Wild stuff, truly. Back in 2016, Instagram decided they were too good to just abide by the rules of time, and they fucked everything up with a fancy algorithm. They claim that the algorithm shows you more of the stuff you want to see, but apparently that means the same six memes and approximately three photos that your friends posted 3-5 days ago. There’s nothing like realizing you haven’t liked your best friend’s photos in a month because you never even saw them! Besides the random arrangement of the timeline, Instagram also shows you lots and lots of comments from people you’ve never heard of. This is where our @diaryofafitmommyofficial comes into the picture.
Along with the algorithm for showing you posts, Instagram also started featuring comments below the posts. Usually they’re from people you follow, or famous people, but some of these commenters are complete randos, like a one @diaryofafitmommyofficial. If you pay attention, you’ll probably start to notice a trend. Random accounts are commenting on tons of celeb photos as a way to gain followers and exposure for their page, and it’s infuriating.
actively ignoring Jonathan Cheban’s presence
Diary of a Fit Mommy is a blog started by a woman named Sia Cooper—no, not that Sia. She’s an overzealous stay at home mom-turned-fitness blogger, who made the news a couple years ago for still having abs while she was eight months pregnant. Good for her? Like, I am zero months pregnant and I’ve never had abs, so I will concede that is impressive. She’s big on getting her workouts in wherever/whenever she has time, and a few months ago she posted a video of herself working out in the aisle at the grocery store. Safe to say Fit Mommy and I would not get along IRL.
@diaryofafitmommyofficial already had a bunch of followers, but she saw a prime opportunity when Instagram started featuring comments. To increase her chances of getting new followers, she started to comment on literally every single famous person’s posts, and this bitch is fucking RELENTLESS. Nicki Minaj in a ridiculous outfit? “Work them stripes ma!” Kim Kardashian talking about bribing her kids? “Sometimes you just gotta bribe em lol!” Selena Gomez posting some emo song lyrics? “Perfect in all ways!” The Cash Me Outside girl posting for Mother’s Day? Gotta throw three purple hearts on that one, naturally. I’m guessing her strategy is that if people see her commenting on enough things often enough, eventually they’ll be like “ok who is this person? Is she like, friends with all these celebs?” and throw her a follow. The answer to that question, as far as I can tell, is no. She does not know these people. I mean, I can hate on her strategy all I want, but it almost worked on me. Almost.
I’m simultaneously impressed and terrified by this woman. In the past, she’s clapped back at haters who say she’s a “bad mom” and is lazy for staying at home. Tbh I have nothing to say about her lifestyle, but I am really curious how she has time to comment on so many of these photos. Does she have an intern who just comments on celebrity photos every day?? I need answers!
Also, one of my favorite things about @diaryofafitmommyofficial is her follower/following ratio. She has a million followers, which is great. Amazing. Spectacular. And she only follows 87 people (one of them is @betches, thanks fam!), which raises an interesting point: she doesn’t even follow half of these famous people that she’s commenting on. Does she spend her (intern’s) day individually searching each celebrity’s profile so she can comment on their most recent pics? Or does she just live on the explore page? @diaryofafitmommyofficial follows heavy hitters like the Kardashians and Selena Gomez, but definitely not Cash Me Outside girl. That’s some shady shit, Fit Mommy. It’s one thing to be a little thirsty for followers (we all are), but she’s approaching straight-up troll territory.
So next time you’re scrolling down Instagram and see a comment from @diaryofafitmommyofficial on some A-lister, don’t even bother clicking. Unless you want more content about doing workouts while watching your kid and drinking wine, just skip it. She has enough followers.
Images: @kimkardashian / Instagram; @diaryofafitmommyofficial / Instagram; @selenagomez / Instagram